Weigh In – © 1990

Yes, this is a poem about a weekly weigh-in while on a diet. What’s worse, is that it happened exactly the way the poem says it happened! My goal that week was 222 pounds, and they were digital scales. I had to wear the “Piggy Face of Shame”. . .

Weigh In – © 1990

I jumped on the scales
And to my surprise
Were three great big two’s
Staring right in my eyes!
So I called in my wife
To witness the weight
So should there be a question
She could set it straight.

So I jumped on again
And what did I see
But two two’s and a three
Looking right back at me!
I said, “This ain’t right!
This weight just can’t be!
Just a minute ago
Three two’s did I see!”

She snickered and laughed
And said, “What can I say?
You wanted a witness
And I saw it that way!”
So I stepped up again
And I tried all my tries.
It said, “Two Twenty Three”
Despite all my cries!

Still laughing and giggling
She walked out the door.
And I stared at the monster
That lay on the floor.
So I stepped on it’s face!
Put my foot on it’s nose!
And I saw three big two’s
Laughing back through my toes!

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